Another Game, Another Test
by Zanna-chan
Summary: Chell's adventures continue and she finds herself in the middle of a war between two rival companies. A fanfic that runs on valve time.
1. Now I only want you gone

**Authors note: **First fanfition chapter done. Awesome.

An important note is while I have painstakingly removed spoilers to portal 2, if your smart you may be able to guess how it ends and if you haven't played the game for some reason a lot of the references to the events of portal 2 will go right over your head.

So if for those of you who haven't already: **GO PLAY THE GAME!**

You know who you are.

I would say the same thing about the original Portal but I think its safe to say everyone has absorbed its plot trough internet osmosis.

This story is written from Chell's POV; in my mind she is both very sarcastic and very crazy.

Special thanks to my editor Cuddles_the_destroyer without which this story would be nothing but a cancerous clump of plot tumors.

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><p>…Well that was the scariest three minutes of my life…<p>

And I, being the sensible and oh so very not dead president of the staying alive club that I am, immediately aimed my portal gun at the door in preparation for whatever trap was waiting for me on the other side...

The large metal door swung open and I quickly shot a portal at the ground so I could escape from the deadly sunlight shining down from the sky.

Wait, what? Am I free?

Okay this has to be a trick, there is no _way _GLaDOS would ever let me go this easily!

Would she?

I walked cautiously towards synthetic wheat swaying in a gentle breeze generated by hidden fans. That's what it has to be. Lack of plastic feeling notwithstanding.

I am so looking forward to the door locking behind me shortly followed by GLaDOS laughing at me for falling for yet another obvious trap, right before she tries to kill me by pumping the room full of deadly neurotoxin. Again.

On the other hand, GLaDOS does have very poorly maintained death trap rooms, so I have /g;,r

I continued to walk while I searched the surprisingly large room for an air vent or something else I could use to break out of here before GLaDOS killed me. There was only one problem though…

There where no walls. Or ceiling for that matter…

How did GLaDOS mange to upgrade her projector screens this much in so little time? If I didn't know better I would think that I actually was outside…

Fortunately, I'm much smarter then that.

On the bright but still oh so very bleak side, it's nice to know GLaDOS actually respects me enough to put some actual effort into these death traps. The time she expected me to run across a hard light bridge to her so called "final test chamber" was almost as insulting as being asked to jump into a seemingly bottomless pit because someone who had just been trying to kill me says that my parents are at the bottom.

And that 'trap' was made by a complete moron specifically engineered to make bad decisions, not a supercomputer who outsmarted some of the greatest minds of our generation!

In any case, I need to keep looking for a way out of here before GLaD-

*SLAM*

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

I spun around as quickly as I could to face whatever new death trap she had set off, and found myself standing in front of what appeared to be a rusty old shack.

As anticlimactic as that was, now I'm trapped out here!- I mean in here!

Great. Now I've wasted so much time thinking about how convincing this trap is that GLaDOS locked me in before I could devise a decent escape plan!

Well that's just great. Now I'm going to die horribly.

What am I saying? Screw that!

I'm not going to just give up and let her kill me! Not after surviving crazy tests with acid floors, energy balls of death, apologetically psychotic turrets, deadly neurotoxin, explosions, ripping GLaDOS apart piece by piece and then throwing her into a fire, Wheatley's idea of a manual override, and GLaDOS being reactivated and trying to kill me yet again…to give up now just because GLaDOS closed some stupid door!

With my resolve to not die restored, I resumed my search a for a way to escape from this stupid room, just as loud banging noises originating from the shack indicated that GLaDOS had set off the trap.

The shack's door opened, to allow a burnt storage cube with pink hearts painted on each of its faces to roll outside right before the door slammed shut.

…

Is that the original companion cube?

…

It looks like it… But I incinerated it the first time GlaDOS made me run through her crazy tests…

…

Well in any case, it doesn't matter all that much; companion cubes only last a minute before GLaDOS randomly destroys them nowadays.

There's no need to give GLaDOS the impression that I care about a stupid cube though.

Even if it was _mine_.

I then stared at the singed companion cube, waiting for GLaDOS to vaporize it and go on a rant about how the imamate cube _loved _me and how _tragic _it's death was.

…

…

Oh look! That holographic cloud is shaped like a human spleen!

…

…

Okay, I'm officially bored now.

I guess she won't vaporize the cube until she thinks I've become attached to it, she has always tried to get my hopes up about something before crushing them at the last possible second. Its kind of her thing.

Her pointlessly sadistic thing.

Might as well get some actual use out of this thing before that happens…

I picked up the companion cube, placed it in front of the door to the shack, and used it as a step to climb onto the shacks roof. Hopefully the higher vintage point will help me see where walls of this room are so I can get out of here…

Wow, talk about HD.

The outside was even more beautiful then I remember. A grand sea of wheat stretched out before me, shining golden in the suns light. Beyond this the summits, purple hills could be seen against the back drop of the sky, an endless expanse of the calming blue, filled with white clouds soft enough to fall asleep on. Behind one such cloud hid the ever golden sun, its loving light shining down to warm my unworthy face.

I admired the glorious scenery for what felt like hours before I noticed the only sign of civilization aside from the shack I was standing on, a simple old warehouse with grey concrete walls located to several miles to my right.

Even after I noticed it, I did not move for quite some time, to absorbed in the scenery stretched out before me.

After all, even the simulated feeling of a gentle breeze combined with the reassuring warmth of the fake sunlight is better than being stuck in an endless maze of soul-crushing grey test chambers until I die.

Therefore, if GLaDOS is showing me this right now just so she can destroy it and send me back in to the deepest bowels of Aperture Science's testing facilities. It prove without a shadow of a doubt that she is the most evil and sadistic thing that ever existed and she deserves be incinerated piece by piece for the good of us all.

But I knew that already, even if she was being almost nice to me when she was stuck in a potato.

Heh it was fun seeing her like that.

Anyway I suppose I could prove she's lying without all this pointless guessing if I just shot a portal in any direction to find out exactly where the walls are. But I can't ignore the _very _slim chance that GLaDOS wasn't lying and I am really outside. If that's the case, I learned enough from moon incident to know that shooting portals into space randomly is a very bad idea…

I'm getting off track again, that's what gets you killed.

Prioritize, the very first thing I should do is explore that warehouse. On the off chance GLaDOS actually let me go, the warehouse the would be the best place to start looking for some actual people and if GLaDOS is once again lying to me and this is a trap, the warehouse would most likely be where the trigger is located.

Walking into traps may be stupid, but I know from experience that with GLaDOS there usually isn't any other options.

Also, it would be just sad if I actually got out of the Aperture Science facility and never moved away from this tiny shed because of something silly like fear of death via deadly neurotoxin.

I shot a portal at the roof of the warehouse, effectively proving that the building itself was at least solid. I then shot a portal at the concrete surrounding this stupid shack, grabbed the cube, and jumped through.

I think getting to keep the portal gun almost made all the near death experiences I've had to go through 'in the name of science' worth it.

Almost, but not really.

After traveling the expanse of the field in about three seconds, I jumped off the roof of the warehouse and walked towards the front door to begin my search for other humans.

Or a way to escape death by neurotoxin, whichever ends up being more appropriate.

I knocked on the door and heard profanity followed by loud shuffling noises coming from the inside.

After that there was only silence.

I guess I should check inside since no one answered the door.

But I have to do it carefully.

I slowly pulled on the door, hoping that it I could wretch it off its locks. _Surprisingly _though, the door was unlocked. For once.

Now I know it's a trap!

Despite this feeling, I used my portal gun to hold the companion cube in front of me and walked inside.

Storage cubes make great shields after all.

The inside of the warehouse was unremarkable in every aspect except the sheer amount of junk that managed to fit inside. The floor could not be seen as it was completely covered in newspapers and the occasional beer bottle. The room's walls were almost completely hidden behind row after row of canned food, the only significant piece of dull grey wall that could be seen was in the far left corner of the room, where what looked like an old feed troth was fastened to the wall and filled to the brim with water. The center of the room was filled with wooden crates of various shapes and sizes, on top of one such crate sat a crowbar and some binoculars.

Which would be incredibly useful whether or not I am outside!

I grabbed the binoculars and strapped them around my neck. I then grabbed the crowbar and stuffed it into my jumpsuit.

Awesome! Now the next time I have to deal with a glass wall I can just smash through it instead of spending hours looking for an altern…

*SLAM*

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME, I DID NOT JUST FALL FOR THAT A SECOND TIME!

I spun around once again, and a saw tall man covered head to toe in tattoos standing in front of the warehouse door.

A human man.

As in not a cube, a turret or a crazy AI, but an actual living breathing person!

I guess _really _am outside.

Unfortunately I didn't get much of a chance to celebrate my freedom, because as soon as I realized that I escaped three other men crawled out from behind the boxes and glared at me menacingly.

What is that all about?

"Well, isn't this is a nice piece of hot ass we got here, boys?" drawled the large man while his dark eyes roamed over me.

What is he talking about?

I stared at the tattooed man, and tried to gather together the courage necessary to ask him what was wrong.

He's a human. Talking to him dose not make me insane.

Just I was about to speak for the first time in god knows how long, the man cut me off with another glare, "Didn't anyone ever tell you its rude to stare bitch?"

What the hell is his problem?

Aren't all humans supposed to be nice to each other?

A shorter, but burlier, man behind me laughed before saying "Well, it looks like we're gonna have to teach the girl some manners, right boys?"

The four had me surrounded and began closing in, wilding wooden boards and rusty pipes they had picked up from the ground.

That was right about when I noticed the bruised and bloody corpse of a young girl, curled up pitifully in a lonely corner of the room.

I forgot GLaDOS is not the only sadist in the world.

I'm_ glad _these men have taken it upon themselves to remind me so soon after I escaped captivity.

The circle the men had formed around me tightened and quickly I shot my one of my portals at the ceiling above the man who closed the door, casting the room in an eerie orange glow.

The men laughed, before the burly man behind me managed to gasp out "Your aim is horrible! Even for a wimpy little girl!"

I turned around to face him and smirked before shooting my second portal at his feet, an ear shattering scream was heard as he fell through the portal on the ceiling, followed by the sickening sound of crunching bones as the man standing in front of the door was crushed underneath his screaming friend.

The two remaining men stared in silence at the squirming mass of blood and broken limbs that had been their friends, pure horror darkening their eyes.

"You Fucking. Little. BITCH!" cried one of the thugs, a scrawny little man wearing a purple shirt and a spiked collar.

They charged at me in rage, brandishing their improvised weapons, their eyes burning with pure loathing.

In panic, I retreated to the back of the room while frantically trying to shoot portals under their feet.

…These guys are surprisingly agile.

Focusing on just the scrawny guy I managed to open a portal underneath him, unfortunately I was so focused on my target I did not notice the other guy, who was wielding a rusty old pipe had managed to get within three feet of me.

I ducked under the pipe he swung at my head and retreated further into the room.

Swing after swing, I rolled, ducked and dived to avoid the pipe the man swung haphazardly at me. Moving farther and farther away from the door to my freedom.

Eventually I was trapped, my back to a crate.

The blond man grinned viscously, reveling his uneven yellow teeth before he said "Now your going to learn what happens to anyone dumb enough to mess with their superiors." In a menacing voice.

Before he swung the pipe at my head, I jumped backwards to lean on the large crate behind me and used both my legs to kick the blond man in the stomach.

As he stumbled backwards in pain I shot a portal at his feet and watched as he fell from the ceiling towards the growing heap of bodies.

Another bloodcurdling scream resonated throughout the warehouse as I grinned victoriously.

"Your aim sucks, you dumb bitch!" shouted an unknown thug.

Just then, the scrawny guy jumped out from behind one of the crates, slashing a bowie knife while laughing maniacally.

I jumped forward, using the portal gun to try to deflect his wild slashes.

The guy began to time his swings, making them harder to block before he finally managed to cut my arm.

Ignoring the searing pain I backed off as blood pored down my arm staining my clothes crimson.

The man chased after me, swinging his knife like a maniac. However, he timed his knife swings so that he didn't really commit to any one swing. Every time I blocked a swing, he immediately pulled back and then tried another stab or slash. Eventually, he managed to trap me in a corner of the room, stuck between the feeding trough filled with murky water and the knife wielding maniac.

In an attempt to avid the knife nut, I jumped over the feeding trough desperate to put space between us.

Fortunately, the extra space provided by the feeding trough made blocking and dodging much easier.

Blocking high and dodging low, repeating the pattern was effortless. I was about dodge his low swing when he quickly reached his hands into the feeding trough and splashed the murky water onto my face.

If you give them enough time even the stupid ones get creative.

I instinctively used both my arms to shield my eyes, the murky water splashed over my arms, head and the portal device.

The scrawny man and I stared in awe as the portal device began to shake and emit blue and orange sparks until everything in the room was covered with the bright sparks of color. The sparks intensified until nothing could be seen but blue and orange. There was a blinding light, colors flashing before my eyes.

Then, nothing.

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><p><strong>Authors note: <strong>I made some minor edits for clarity's sake and will continue to do so for all the old chapters before posting the new one. Sorry for the wait.


	2. While you're dying I'll be

**Author's note:**Yay, first anonymous review reply of the entire story!

**None: **Consider it done.

On another note I'm surprised so many people added this story to their favorite's list within a few weeks of me posting it.

You guys are awesome!

Not quite as awesome as my reviewers though…

Anyways, its worth noting that this chapter is more of a chapter 1.5 then a second chapter because it's centered around a different character and Chell is only briefly mentioned.

You will never guess who I picked as the main character, and I don't mean that in a good way.

Special thanks to my editor/beta reader Cuddles_the_destroyer who wrote almost as much for this chapter as me.

Bet you can't guess who wrote which parts, I'm not even sure at this point

On with the story!

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><p>In an alpine forest, somewhere in mountains, the sounds of animals could just be heard over the whirring of machinery from the nearby water purification plant.<p>

The tranquility of nature was suddenly interrupted, not by one of the many engineers and assorted personnel present in the nearby water purification plant but by a sudden flash of blue light followed by the scream of a man in a purple shirt and spiked collar suddenly appearing from thin air and falling to the ground eight feet below.

The man's head smacked against a rock as he landed and he fell unconscious.

Hours later, the man awoke and staggered to his feet. He was clutching his head, the sounds of the forest only serving to intensify his massive headache.

"Ugh, my head, what did I do last night?" muttered the man in the purple shirt, Gary, while looking around the small clearing.

This was definitely _not _the hideout.

And his idiot associates where nowhere to be seen.

That's when Gary realized why he wasn't at the base and his buds weren't around.

"I'm going to kill that bitch" shouted Gary while kicking a nearby tree and stubbing his toe. Gary's violent outburst once again completely shattered the quiet serenity of the natural environment, and could be heard from miles away.

One such location was the water purification plant, which held a garrison of trigger happy mercenaries working to secure and lock down the area, already on alert because various occupants had reported seeing a blue flash of light earlier.

These soldiers immediately jumped into the various jeeps haphazardly parked across the purification plant, and rather then drive through the purification plant's reinforced gate in an orderly single file convoy and give Gary a chance to escape, the mercenaries opted to drive straight through the barbed wire fence, creating their own gates, the manly way.

Most other tires would have been shredded by the wire, but Redmond had requisitioned Mann Co. tires for the jeeps, which did not even get scratched.

Gary, ever the observant individual with over five hundred hours of experience avoiding apprehension from the police under his belt, decided that the lady wearing orange was not a priority and immediately ran up the mountain, deeper into the forest.

Unfortunately for Gary, a jeep can travel faster than a runner, even in a thick forested terrain.

Fortunately for Gary, his pursuers were incompetent idiots.

The lead Jeep immediately crashed into a rather obscenely large Sequoia tree growing and minding its own business. Since it was a Mann Co. Jeep, it exploded on contact with the tree, turning it - the tree, four mercenaries, another jeep with four additional mercenaries in it, and a squirrel - into vapor and bits of matter.

Gary mistook this explosion as a rather large grenade, which stemmed from a botched casino robbery in New Vegas seven years earlier, and reacted the same way he had back then.

Running the hell away and not looking back.

This plan was not nearly as effective as it had been last time, because last he was being chased by few armed cops through a city he knew like the back of his hand, rather than nearly forty jeeps through an unfamiliar forest.

Seeing a promising looking thicket, Gary dived through a large clump of bushes…

And landed in a large sandy beach bordering a massive lake.

The Jeeps immediately surrounded Gary before soldiers wielding M-16/203s jumped out and pointed there weapons at the intruder wearing purple.

Realizing he was caught, Gary raised his hands behind his head, and dropped down to his knees, a position he was all too familiar with.

Normally though he would have a squad of snipers hiding somewhere nearby to take out his opponents when they least expected it.

A sergeant climbed out of the back of one of the jeeps flanked by two grunts and approached Gary.

Gary noticed all the soldiers were clad in red and all their equipment had red decals for some reason. Gary immediately assumed they where apart of the recently resurgent communist party.

He hoped they did not realize that he was the one who sank one of their primary economic sources off the coast of the Horn of Africa a year ago or that he was the one responsible for killing off over half their leadership in a different event.

His attention was brought back to the present when he was jabbed in the side by a red-clad grunt carrying an M-16 with an M203 mounted grenade launcher. Behind the private was a rather boisterous looking sergeant, who smirked at Gary. "You're trespassing on company property," muttered the sergeant, poking Gary's chest. "Wearing _Blue_, no less."

Gary blinked before he voiced his realization. "So you're not commies, then." said Gary before adding matter-of-factly. "You're just idiots with assault weapons. For the record, I'm clearly wearing purple."

There was a few moments of silence before the sergeant processed what Gary had said. "FUCK YOU, LEAGUE SCUM!" shouted the sergeant, while simultaneously drawing his M1911 from its holster.

Just as the Sergeant was about to shoot Gary, the sound of helicopters filled the air and everyone turned the attention to the mountains to the east where the sounds originated from.

The noises grew louder as dozens of Mi-8 Soviet Transport Helicopters came into view from behind the mountains. Half of these helicopters altered their course to the water purification plant, and the other half approached the caravan of jeeps.

As the helicopters drew closer the soldiers started to notice little details about these new arrivals.

Like purple insignias painted on each side of the helicopters.

And the side mounted M134 7.62 mm, multi-barrel heavy machine guns or "Miniguns" trained on their positions by soldiers.

These soldiers were also wearing purple.

Gary used the distraction the helicopters had created to slip out of the circle of red soldiers and hide in a small ditch in the bushes he had crawled through earlier.

Just as he got settled in, the helicopters arrived and opened fire on his former captives.

Unlike the red mercenaries, these strangers in purple were among the best marksmen in their class. Of course, marksmanship is really just an ancillary skill for the minigun, which works like a laser pointer, but far deadlier.

When the guns started to shoot, every visible person on the ground was guaranteed to be dead unless they were made of steel or the miniguns shot confetti.

All Gary could hear during the battle was the roar of minigun fire and screams of pain. Somebody's shredded arm landed on his face at some point of the battle.

Soon after the helicopters started shooting no one in red was left intact.

Two helicopters hovered over the clearing before dropping rappel ropes and allowing ten soldiers in purple uniforms to slide down into the clearing before flying to the purification plant.

Their faces were hidden under helmets as they combed the clearing shooting the occasional survivor, who usually was missing an assortment of limbs instead of simply being dead.

Gary decided that he would rather be somewhere else and slowly crawled away from the clearing into the forest he arrived through.

His foot crushed a stick, and a timid snapping sound obliterated the oppressive silence of the clearing.

The soldiers immediately turned to face Gary, who found himself surrounded before he could even stand.

"Got another one, wearing purple like us!" shouted one of the troops as he bashed at Gary with the butt of his gun.

A solder muttered into his helmet about a background check before exclaiming "He's not a part of any of our squads.

"Probably a civilian then, guys. Notwinsky, You know protocol." stated a third soldier, a sergeant, with finality in his tone.

The other solders began walking back to the clearing as the last soldier forced Gary to a kneeling position.

"Thanks for clearing those dumbass mercs outta' Gorge for us kid, you saved us a good fifteen minutes by getting them out in the open like that. You should know that while your unwitting service was helpful we are not looking for any new members. Good bye."

Before Gary could even react a bullet was lodged in his squishy brain.

To Gary, everything was dark, and his story was over.

But Chell's story, it is just beginning.

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><p><strong>Authors note:<strong> So all-in-all Gary had a very bad day.

If you can already guess where the plot was going from here cut yourself a slice of cake and tell me in a review.

Chapter was late because the editor and I received Minecraft at the same time.

We are sorry.

As an apology, from now on this story will update on every other Monday

Yay, regular updates!

_**Editor's Note:** What she said. The saying that comes to mind is "I had a future, now I have Minecraft." I also have a veritable assortment of other video games that have distracted me, such as (in order of procrastination over the past 3 weeks or so): Age of Empires, Mass Effect 2, and Battlefield 2. That and education, which has been put on hiatus for now since the teachers at my school would have struck if they had to work past the 2nd week of June. I shall keep up with the deadline because if I do not, Zanna-chan will kill me and burn down my residence, and I like my stuff and being alive, so deadline it is, then!_

_But enough of that._

_Positive Ratings or I blow up Florida (at Zanna-chan's behest)._

**Authors note:** No he wont. All reviews are awesome.


	3. still alive

**Authors note: **The story is back and so is Chell!

**Anonymous review reply:**

**Nobody:** That's right. The story's update system is completely operational again.

I would like to thank Cuddles_the_destroyer, who is both my servant and my master.

This chapter is from Chell's POV and contains even more rants of insanity then chapter one!

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><p><em><strong>Recap:<strong> The scrawny man and I stared in awe as the portal device began to shake and emit blue and orange sparks until everything in the room was covered with the bright sparks of color. The sparks intensified until nothing could be seen but blue and orange. There was a blinding light, colors flashing before my eyes. _

_Then, nothing…_

Awareness returned to me as air rushed past my face at high speeds.

I opened my eyes, and realized that I was hurdling towards the ground at terminal velocity, surrounded by falling boxes tin cans and other paraphernalia from the factory I was just in.

Falling form huge distances isn't really shocking for me at this point.

For once I'm thankful that "lab boys" at Aperture science somehow managed to invent wondrous devices that defy the laws of physics.

Seriously, the only thing from that god forsaken place that saved my ass more than these boots is the portal device itself.

Then again, if it wasn't for those dumb ass scientists I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place…

In any case it looks like I have awhile until I hit the ground, almost makes me wish I had GlaDOS here to call me an idiot.

Ha.

Boots or not, I really should be more worried about how the hell I got up here last I checked I was being chased around by a knife wielding psychopath through a factory in the middle of some field not falling from god knows how high up above... I should probably turn around to face the ground and make sure I'm not going to fall into a pit of acid or something.

After much wriggling and flailing, I was able to look downwards and see where I would land. The ground below me was mountainous and heavily forested, the only sign of civilization was in a relatively nearby valley and took the form of a small farm connected to an equally small factory connected together by two bridges spanning the length of a intimidating chasm.

Where the hell am I?

Are those the same mountains I saw before? They don't really look like them but I was very far away…

How did I even get to these mountains? Last I checked, I could barely see them.

Me being here doesn't make any sense, unless that guy had the ability to teleport, which I highly doubt.

I mean, really! His brilliant plan was to splash water in my face! While it was clever and all, it is not exactly cutting edge technology!

Hold it…

He splashed water in my face and I blocked with the portal device…which started shaking and giving off sparks right before I ended up here.

So that means GlaDOS wasn't lying about the dangers of submerging the portal device in water.

GlaDOS being honest.

Now I've seen everything

But all that is irrelevant. The lone survivor has probably already got a butch of his buds together to hunt me down for revenge.

Fate is just too fond of screwing me over.

Come to think of it I might have more imitate problems, I am falling towards the ground at terminal velocity and while these boots will protect me from the fall, I'm also surrounded by a bunch of falling cans and boxes. When I land, they will crash into me and fancy boots can't really protect me from getting crushed by random crap from a factory.

Shit.

Looking around at the various objects surrounding me I noticed the companion cube falling to my right.

Eh that will work.

I tucked in my arms and streamlined myself so I fell at an angle towards the companion cube, pushing past various falling objects as I went. Then I used the portal device to grab the companion cube thankful that at least the anti-gravity beam still works.

After I grabbed the cube with the beam, I continued angling my fall towards a grassy clearing. When I was directly above the clearing, I turned to face the direction of the only inhabited valley nearby, so I would know which direction to walk when I landed.

Relatively satisfied that I wouldn't get lost, I lifted the cube above my head and braced myself for the inevitable impact. The sound of me hitting the clearing could not be heard over the impact of the various cans and boxes crashing against tress the ground and the top of the companion cube.

I waited with the cube above my head for several more minutes, until I was certain all the remaining debris had landed. When I was finally satisfied, I took a moment to look around and figure out what to do next.

The once beautiful and serene environment of the clearing had been shattered by cans, boxes and other junk from the factory floor whosehigh speed impacts had broken tree branches and created small craters in the floor of the grassy clearing.

But the destruction of the natural environment really isn't my problem right now. Right now my only concern is my own survival. With that thought in mind, I drew an arrow in the ground in the direction I was facing and began picking up the few cans of food that were fresh and hadn't been destroyed in the fall. Once I had as many cans as I could carry, I folded the jacket of my jumpsuit into a crude backpack to carry them, picked up my cube, and followed the arrow towards civilization.

I hope.

After countless hours of myopic walking, the sun had finally set. The vast forest finally came to an end and I found myself gazing over the edge of a large cliff riddled with caves and crevices of various sizes. I was so tired from hiking through the thin mountain air I didn't even spare a glance at the strange buildings I had spent all this time trying to reach, I merely jumped down onto a nearby ledge and crawled into the nearest cave before collapsing on the cave floor and slipping in to a dreamless sleep.

* * *

><p>When I awoke, night had fallen and the inside of the cave was completely dark, save the faint glowing of the portal device. I stood up and walked cautiously towards the mouth of the cave, cautiously avoiding the many cans I had scattered haphazardly across the room. When I reached the cave entrance, I saw some light emanating from, most likely, the farm and factory I saw earlier.<p>

Where there's light, there's usually people. Or crazed robots.

I hope it's people. Benevolent people this time.

Then again hoping for things has never went well for me. I think I will do a little reconnaissance before I break into random buildings asking for directions.

After all, the building I jsut broke into housed a bunch of murdering psychopaths.

I pulled out my binoculars and began scanning the area surrounding the two buildings.

The farm and factory were not two separate entities, but rather one large, garish complex. The two bridges served to accentuate the fact that the architects had decided to completely change building styles halfway through building the complex.

Most of the building materials used on the far side of the complex were plain white concrete, cement or plaster with the occasional touch of blue. The smoke stacks of other factories could be seen in the distance behind the building.

In contrast, the other side, which was doused in red paint, was built like farm structure. But who builds a farm on a cliff? The fields around the farm don't look like an animal has ever set a hoof upon them.

But I really shouldn't bother with the farm anyways. Unlike the factory, the complex was made of wood, and I can't put portals on wood. So I guessI'll check out the blue side of the base first, so I can use my awesome souvenir from that hellhole called Aperture Science!

…That is, of course, assuming the portal device still works, which it probably doesn't.

Well shit.

The roof of the factory would be perfect to place portals on. However, if the portal device doesn't work and I try to fire it…things could end badly.

There is only one way to find out, I suppose.

Steeling my nerves, I aimed my portal gun carefully at the roof of the building and fired.

I let out a sigh of relief when I saw the faint blue light of a closed portal glowing on the factory's roof.

The portal device still works!

I quickly shot a second portal into the ground, and skipped through my orange portal, giddy with joy.

Great God, am I glad the portal device still works.

But now it's silent over here.

The entire area is lit up brighter than most American cities, but there is nobody around. What gives?

Before I could jump off the roof to search for somebody nice enough to tell me where I am, I hear a thunderous sound emanating from the structure.

I quickly hid to a more sheltered part of the roof in case there was anyone homicidal inside the bunker. I decided to peer over the lip of the roof to keep an eye on the situation when two dozen people ran out of each building, wielding various weapons and wearing ether red or blue. The moment the opposing sides saw each other, they started shooting each other with hilariously over sized weapons. Rockets and grenades showered the killing men on each side until the group in red finally managed to gain the upper hand and rushed into the factory.

….

Well so much for them not being psychopaths.

I prepared to make my leave but just as I was about to jump through the open portal, I was stopped by an eerily familiar voice blaring through various speakers around the factory.

"You've failed. The enemy has captured our intelligence."

That sounded like…

No, it couldn't be! I was freed from Aperture! GlaDOS wouldn't lie to me about something like that!

That's just… something she would and has done on many occasions.

Two of the strange men in red ran out of the factory, the larger, more heavyset of the two had a blue briefcase strapped to his back and was wielding an impressive mini gun, while the other was wearing a lab coat and had a strange apparatus strapped to his back. The guy in the lab coat was keeping a strange red beam emitted from a hose like thing attached to his back trained on the minigun-toting man as they ran back across the bridge toward the small red farm.

The two of them got about half way across the bridge before the man in the lab coat was blown up by a rocket fired at him by a soldier-type man in blue whose military helmet covered his eyes.

Didn't I see him die in a horrific death earlier?

Three more rockets where lunched in rapid succession at the heavyset man with the weird briefcase before the large man turned around and fired a barge of bullets at the man in blue, who took cover inside a small shack.

The heavyset man wielding the minigun walked slowly towards the shack keeping a his monster of a gun trained on the shack door in case someone decided to run out and start shooting rockets around.

Unfortunately for the man with the minigun he was so focused on the soldier he did not notice a blue man in a flame retardant suit wielding a flamethrower. The heavyset man turned around just in time to see a jet of fire engulf him and cook his organs to a nice brown crisp. As the heavyset man fell to the ground, dead, the briefcase on his back fell to the ground.

"The enemy has dropped our intelligence," The speakers rang out in a monotone.

That rang out in the exact same way that GlaDOS would always speak.

Th-this can't be happening! The bitch let me go! She hated my guts and wanted me gone!

I-I can't believe she saved my life just to... to betray me again!

Why did I ever put her back in charge of Aperture?

I. AM. GOING. TO. KILL. HER. FOR. THIS!

* * *

><p><strong>Authors note:<strong> Surprise! This story is actually a portal Team Fortress Two crossover!

But you new readers already knew that didn't you?

Well there used to be a rant here about why this story was originally labeled as a portal fan fiction rather then a portal tf2 crossover…. So instead I'm just going to passive aggressively ask for reviews.

REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW.

…Please?

And now my editor's completely unrelated rant!

_**Editor's Note:** To be honest, I put "genetically modifying and cloning a plant army of doom" (I worked {and still do!} at a lab when I was helping Zanna-Chan with this chapter) ahead of "editing the ravings of a rabid fangirl."_

_Also, while waiting the necessary two hours for some DNA (of doom!) to PCR into a usable quantity, I thought, "What would happen if the Mass Effect 2 squad members (Shepard and his/her large pool of potential squadmates) went to Disney World?" I decided to try to draw some pictures, but realized I severely lack artistic talent. So I ask you less artistically challenged readers to email me hilarious pictures of the Mass Effect 2 team, especially the less stable members, enjoying a fun-filled day at the Happiest Place on Earth! Send as much as you like to , and please no viruses or anything malicious for that will make me sad. And people die horrible deaths when I am sad. Starting with you._

_Praise the lord for Google Docs and Steam Chat, so Zanna and I can yell at each other, and needlessly change the syntax of single sentences, in real time! Without having to meet in person!_

_Please review or I will eat your puppies. If you do not have puppies, then I will have to take your firstborn child._

**Authors note:** First of all I am not rabid, I got shots for that! Second of all, while Mass Effect 2 may have nothing to do with this story... it might have something to do with why this chapter takes two weeks to write, so there you go. Also, while I am sure you children are fine, I know Cuddles personally and I am pretty sure he would eat puppies without provocation.

You non reviewers are just giving him an excuse.

Long authors note is long, we will keep writing them like this unless people review telling us to stop

-Z-chan


	4. You're someone else's problem

**Authors note**: Well, nobody came to burn down my house for mislabeling this, so that's good...

GLaD to hear you all like this story so much!

You guys should know Cuddles_the_destroyer does as much work as me for this story, but doesn't get to talk to our fans because story is posted on my account. You can email him here if you want to rectify that: . Hearing from you would make him happy, and help hold off the "getting back at humanity" mentality he usually has.

Please email him, I don't want to be murdered. He knows where I live.

* * *

><p>SHE WILL NOT GET AWAY THIS TIME!<p>

I WILL BREAK ALL HER OF STUPID LITTLE CAMERAS ONE BY ONE... but first I'll make her watch me, the smelly orphan, burn down her beloved facility and send the rubble to hell!

Once Aperture is in ruins again, I will go to her stupid little control room and rip her apart, piece by piece. Then, I will burn these pieces into their component atoms. If the chunks still have sentience, like they did last time, I will take them out again and shoot them into the Sun! I'll break her head last so I can experience the joy of breaking it open with my bare hands, so i can cover all her circuits in gasoline and set them on fire!

Then I will eat her stupid robot brains!

I wonder if electric circuits have any nutritional value for humans... good god, I'm hungry.

Anyways, if her damned black box survives all of that, I wont break it. Instead, I will pull it out, and hide it somewhere no one will ever find it.

Bedrock sounds good, yes, yes...

Volcano sounds better. Try making a test chamber out of liquid rock, you crazy bitch.

It doesn't matter! I just want it dead and gone! Gone under one hundred thousand pounds per square inch of pressure and burnt to a lovely white.

Of course, she deserves to be turned into a human and forced to run through all her stupid tests until she dies...then I resurrect her just to kill her again!

Too bad that's impossible.

Hey, now I got a revenge plan! Time to figure out how to beat this new...test...so I can go kill GLaDOS!

…

Didn't I see other test subjects down there...?

Oh, crap, I should check on them.

Taking out my binoculars and looking back at the battle ground below, the blue man or women in the gas mask had taken back the strange blue briefcase and was running back towards the part of the factory part of the facility while the guy with the rocket launcher covered him.

Suddenly the gender ambiguous person fell over for seemingly no reason, blood leaking from his head. The other man in blue immediately turned to face the farm part of the facility and began firing rockets at a red guy with a sniper rifle.

Oh, a sniper... that make sense...I remember that these kind of people are amazing at hiding.

I feel bad for these poor test subjects though, forced to kill one another for GLaDOS's amusement... GLaDOS had never been that cruel to me.

I have to break these guys out of here! They probably want GLaDOS dead as much as I do.

An explosion drew my attention back to GLaDOS's sick little game. The man with the rocket launcher had succeeded in killing the sniper and proceeded to cross the bridge followed by another blue guy who was sporting an eye patch and...

A gas mask wearing gender ambiguous guy wielding a flame thrower...?

What. Didn't that guy just get sniped?

Sure enough the corpse of the unfortunate person, among the other bodies, was still dead on the floor of the battle field.

...This must be a new guy in a gas mask.

Of course, that begs the question: where did GlaDOS get all these test subjects anyway? I thought Wheatley said I was the only one left...

Oh right.

Wheatley, the clueless bint, told me that.

Turning my attention back to the battle field, the new gender ambiguous fire soldier had pried the blue briefcase from his predecessor's hands and was returning to the factory passing by a guy in a lab coat who had a strange device trained on a large, heavyset, man with a mini gun.

Weren't these guys wearing red earlier?

DIDN'T THEY DIE?

WHAT THE HELL, UNIVERSE!

Suddenly a red blur crossed the battle field, weaving through bullets and wielding a baseball bat. distracting all the test-subjects wearing blue, while a black, eye-patch wearing man shot strange spiked balls at their feet. Before I could get a second look at the blue test subjects eye patch guy the spiky balls exploded, killing all the test subjects unfortunate enough to be wearing blue and showering the upper bridge with gore.

"Oh, they're gonna have to glue you back together...IN HELL!" shouted the man who just killed four people in under ten seconds before detonating a bomb under his own feet, launching himself onto the bridge and running into the factory.

The boy with the bat shouted "Way to go, pally!" before taking out a shotgun and following his testing partner into the building.

The sounds of explosions a gunfire resonated from the so called building below me, normally i would be a little more concerned about that but my attention was focused on something even more concerning.

The blue heavy set man and his lab-coat wearing partner were back again, and this time I am absolutely certain that they are the same men who I witnessed get killed twice.

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?

HOW ARE ARE THESE TEST SUBJECTS NOT DEAD?

People do not just come back to life like that.

There has to be a logical explanation to this...

I just have to calm down and think.

Let's see...

Back when I was first stuck here, GLaDOS did say Aperture Science had military androids.

She even made me run through a live fire course that had initially been designed for her androids, that bitch.

That doesn't make much sense though.

If these test-subjects where androids, they wouldn't bleed when they were shot.

I guess androids could have some synthetic blood to make them seem more human, but they would still have to be mostly tech.

I just saw like three of them explode and I didn't see any circuit boards or tech of any kind.

Only blood and body-parts.

So if their not androids, the next logical explanation would have to be clones.

Yeah, that makes sense! Even if all the other test subjects were dead, GLaDOS could just grab some DNA from their corpses. Add some cells and a shitload of nutrients and then she would have an infinite number of human test subjects.

And those test subjects would be forced to run through her tests forever...

Wow.

That's even more horrible then what happened to me.

Which is saying something.

Clones or not, no one deserves to go through this forever!

I have to get these clones out of the compound! And pick up some of their weapons, because a rocket to GLaDOS's hard drive would work wonders!

Now if GLaDOS turned these clones into homicidal maniacs, then I'm hosed, one way or another.

Friends are nice and all, but I'd rather not risk dying here.

I'll just try to sneak past them all and beat this test quickly. Killing GLaDOS is still my top priority, after all. If I can get help from the clones, that would be nice. But hey, I do my best work alone, so I suppose it's no great loss if I can't recruit them.

Suddenly, several explosions rocked the factory's foundations, creating a shock-wave that knocked me off my feet, but didn't seem to affect any of the clones.

When I regained my senses, I crawled on mystomach towards the sounds of explosions originating from the back of the 'factory' where the briefcase was almost certainly located.

Sure enough, I saw the blue fire starter standing in the 'courtyard' above the burning corpses of two red clones, raising its flamethrower above its head in triumph. It ran around spraying fire randomly for some reason before returning to the 'factory', no doubt to join his testing partners in reliving the red group of their briefcase.

The red test-subjects have to have a briefcase too, or the blue test-subjects wouldn't be trying so hard to get into the 'farm'.

Logic.

But the 'farm' doesn't have any visible surfaces I can place portals on, so blue briefcase it is.

I triple checked to make absolutely sure no clones were running about before I shot a portal two portals, one next to me the other on the inside wall of a secluded 'shack' in the middle of the 'courtyard' and immediately jumped through the portals.

I was in such a hurry to get down there, I didn't even look through my portal to see what was on the other side.

Which meant I didn't notice the shotgun-wielding-blue-overalls-clad clone until I crashed into his back, dropping the portal device and nearly knocking the man down.

The man grunted at and took a second to right himself his orange hard hat had fell to the ground. Before he could snap around and aim his shotgun at me, I grabbed my crowbar from my jacket and smashed it into the base of his skull. The sickening crack of his skull fracturing reverberated through my ears as he crumpled lifelessly to the ground, blood gushed from his skull and stained his azure clothes a deep crimson.

Then my brain finally kicked in and it dawned on me that I had just ended the life of a man I had pledged to save from the tyranny of GLaDOS.

She was right.

I really am a monster.

* * *

><p><strong>Authors note: <strong>Had two weeks to do this but I did most of the work on the last two days and story ended up being a cliff hanger.

Sorry this is late. I was... researching TF2 battle tactics...extensively with my friends. Yeah that's what I was doing, research! I would never goof off and play TF2 for two weeks straight! You're wrong!

I'm a bad person.

Well at least I finally got around to fixing the glaring mistakes in this chapter.

By the way this map is ctf_double cross if you where wondering, aka the map where I repeatedly fall into bottomless pits.

Beats 2Fort anyways. Fuck 2Fort.

_**Editor's Note: **__Don't blame me, I can't edit what was not written. I don't have time for this, between my actual job and the Rockstar games I bought recently! Hell, I didn't get the finished product until the day we posted it!_

_But enough of that._

_In other news, I haven't seen a decent TV program since 2007. And I can't seem to find episodes of Dr. Who anywhere. Syria's a hellish stalemate and I have $500 that Assad's gonna be gone by Christmas._

_I want a cupcake._

**Author's note: **This is getting excessive, but forcing people I have never met to read the ramblings of my crazy friend is small price to pay for a decent editor.

So deal with it or send a review telling me to whack him upside the head.

I'm cool with either.


	5. We do what we must

**Author's note:** I'm back! And I brought this chapter with me!

Anyways I bet you wondering why this chapter took me **FOUR MONTHS TO POST!**

Well I have three lame excuses:

1. School.

2. Team Fortress 2 is now free to play, I can now back stab all my friends.

3. **LAZINESS.**

Sorry about that.

I would like to thank Cuddles_the_destroyer who tried to stop me from being a lazy bitch but he's only human.

_**Editor's Note:** Yeah, I pretty much am a failure. And I was playing TF2 and dealing with school as well. Straight Ds in advanced classes For the Win! And that's before I even started looking at this! _

* * *

><p><em><strong>Recap:<strong> Then my brain finally kicked in and it dawned on me that I had just ended the life of a man I had pledged to save from the tyranny of GLaDOS._

_She was right._

_ I really am a monster._

I stood there for what felt like four months, gazing at the man who's life I just ended. Blood was seeping out from where I hit him at the base of his skull. His blue shirt and overalls had already been permanently stained red with his blood.

His face was clearly contorted with pain, despite his eyes being invisible behind his blood specked goggles.

I wonder if he had a family, he certainly looks like the fatherly type.

The guilt I felt increased tenfold, but before it could become crippling the part of my brain that had begged me not to trust anything reminded me of a simple fact.

I'm still in Aperture and this is just another test of my will to survive, by any sadistic means that can be thought up by an immoral computer.

Though, test or not, is my life really worth more then the life of another? I killed this man simply because he could of hurt me. For all I know he might of helped me out had I given him the chance. But no. I'm a monster who killed a fellow human because I could, and it was the easiest course of action.

Except I didn't kill a human. I killed a clone, made by GLaDOS with the sole purpose of killing others.

Clones don't have families. Not in the traditional sense.

But I still don't know anything about this clone, though. For all I know, he could of hated GLaDOS and was trying to escape just like me.

Hell, I'm not even entirely sure he was a clone...there is a chance he might of been a survivor, right?

No, everybody in the complex is dead! There is absolutely no way he could of been anything other then a clone created by GLaDOS from the remains of one of her God know how many killing sprees. Besides, while killing a clone is regrettable, its not the same as killing a human. Yeah!

The thought of him being just another clone was comforting but the guilt of killing him before I even knew his intentions settled like a rock in my gut.

Clones aren't exactly like GLaDOS's turrets. They have their own thoughts and feelings, the ability to choose freely as sentient creatures. They're just as human as I am.

But if they have their own feeling and free will, isn't it possible he could of been just as cruel as GLaDOS, conditioned from conception by her violent rhetoric?

After all the last humans, or perhaps clones, I ran into were psychopaths.

Perhaps the environment GLaDOS created for them drove them to kill. It certainly makes sense. GLaDOS is not exactly a...stabilizing influence for a developing mind.

Of course, if they were strong, they would have brushed it off like I've been able to.

If anyone else was put in my situation, they probably would start talking to robots or inanimate objects! People who do that sort of stuff are batshit insane!

Thus, as the only sane one left, I am justified in killing if it ensures my survival.

It just like destroying those turrets with the adorable voices. They would try and kill me the second they saw me and I don't want to die.

I'll do whatever it takes beat each test chamber, its why I'm still alive.

I wiped off the clone's blood covering my crowbar on his shirt before cautiously peering around the shacks wall into the courtyard beyond.

The courtyard itself was empty save for a few random boxes and crates haphazardly strewn about. But beyond this apparent emptiness was a large circular door, similar to the other test chamber doors at Aperture Sciences, except it was bigger and metallic grey instead of sterile white.

This meant there was nothing between me and the blue briefcase that had been carelessly left in the middle of the concrete floor. I could walk in and just take the briefcase and read all the papers hastily shoved into the rather large case.

…

This is way to easy.

There are no gun turrets, no pools of acid, no bottomless pits, absolutely nothing lethal has been visibly placed in the room. GLaDOS didn't even put up an emancipation grill to stop me from using the portals I had already placed outside to escape when GLaDOS inevitably locks all the doors and floods the room with neurotoxin. Again.

Well I'm not going to run in there blindly just because GLaDOS didn't make her death traps obvious.

I shot a portal under the briefcase and the briefcase immediately fell through and landed at my feet.

That test was only slightly more difficult then the first test chamber Wheatley made... and GLaDOS is in charge again. Either she's losing her touch or she has an extremely elaborate trap planed for me. Or she's studying my ability to adapt to incredibly easy situations. For some reason.

I will just have to stay on my toes... as usual.

Sighing, I bent over and picked up the briefcase. GLaDOS immediately exclaimed, in a far more human voice than I ever remember her using, "Alert! The enemy has taken our intelligence!"

I twitched in shock at GLaDOS's unexpected exclamation, dropping the briefcase as I instinctively drew my portal gun in one fluid motion, aiming directly at the source of the noise, an unassuming little intercom speaker attached to the wall right above the door leading into the room where the briefcase was held.

GLaDOS only response was to simply intone "The enemy has dropped our intelligence." in that rather bored yet mocking manner, taunting me for my supposed ineptitude.

Glad to see _that _hasn't changed.

Normally that would be the brunt of my problems, but I was much more concerned with the loud clomping of feet of the dead clone's testing partners growing louder and louder.

Oh crap! I closed my portal on the roof of the complex to get the briefcase! WHAT DO I DO NOW?

Fanatically looking around, I noticed that on the far side of the obviously booby-trapped room that GLaDOS had stored the blue briefcase in, there was another open door. Behind that door was a plain concrete wall that was just begging to have a portal placed on it.

This probably means that by placing a portal there I will be trapped in yet another booby trapped room, but I'm running out of options here! I'll figure out the next trap when it's spring.

I grabbed the briefcase yet again, causing GLaDOS to immediately intone, "Alert! The enemy has taken our intelligence!"

Shut up, you crazy bitch.

I quickly shot a new portal at the wall and jumped through the old one on the shack wall.

I immediately noticed that this wall was part of a ledge in front of a courtyard, one that was overlooked by a balcony leading back into the factory.

The concrete walled factory! I might just get out of here after all!

I began to teleport my way to the balcony, avoiding the large metal door in front of me in favor of going through one of the relatively small doorways behind me because I have been stuck in the Aperture facility long enough to know that large doors equal bad news for my constitution. I immediately found myself in the battlements overlooking the entirety of GLaDOS's weird farm/factory complex.

If I use my binoculars here, I might be able to find a surface I can place a portal on that is relatively close to my cave.

I would have gotten out of this complex in under a minute if it wasn't for the clone standing right in front of me, sniper rifle trained on the bridges spanning the chasm between the two sides of the complex.

Actually, that chasm gives me a hilarious and effective idea for dealing with this guy...

I just hope he doesn't notice me setting up my trap and try to kill me, it seems to be what everyone does the second they see me.

Why do they do that?

Anyway, I shot a portal on the wall of the huge canyon stretching between bases while carefully watching the sniper to make sure he doesn't notice me.

Surprisingly, he doesn't. I guess I'm too used to those psycho turrets who start firing at me the second I get within their firing vectors...good god I hate those things.

I crouch down and moving as quietly as I can, slowly moving in front of him until I am crouched in front of him but not in the way of his rifle.

This guy is completely oblivious! its like he can't see anything that's not in his scope...

Oh well, that works fine for me... I fire my second portal behind him and push him through before he has time to react... not that he would have. He continued to stare through his scope for three whole seconds before noticing where he was and screaming as he fell to his death.

Oh my god that was hilarious! That almost as funny as the time I covered those turrets in repulsion gel while burning them with a thermal discouragement beam... good times.

I better get out of here before GLaDOS finishes vat growing another one.

I took out my binoculars and scanned the area around my cave looking for any surface I could place a portal on.

Fortunately I found a billboard a good distance away from the facility... it will be a long walk to my cave but it beats sticking around and getting killed by a clone.

After teleporting to the billboard and making sure to place both my portals on it so no one could follow me I began the long walk back to my cave...

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note:<strong> Oh my god I'm finally done with that chapter! It was fun to write but there were a lot of problems me and Cuddles had to sort out... sorry about that...

Thanks for all the reviews guys without them I would of abandoned this story to laziness a long time ago.

Oh and don't worry the comedy will be back soon.

Now a word from our editor Cuddles...

_**Editor's notes:** So much wooooorrrrrrrkkkk... My focus on this has basically gone down the can ever since school started back up. I also have 2 jobs and am paid for neither (for legitimate reasons) and that eats up even more of my time. Among many other things. Basically, I have a really bad 3 past months. Ah well, Saints Row: The Third, Battlefield 3, Modern Warfare 3, Grand Theft Auto 5, and Mass Effect 3 are coming out soonish (as in before I go to college next August). Besides, I can barely tolerate the usual *ahem* "Differences in artistic vision" between Zanna and I. Zanna will probably complain about my complaining, but at least she still has a competent editor!_

**Author's note:** Normally, I would make a snide remark about how Cuddles is whining about how much his life sucks to you guys, but right now I'm just to happy about finally posting this after two months!

Also Cuddles is awesome, I like Cuddles.

By the way, do you guys want the next chapter to focus on Chell or one of the Team Fortress 2 character's reactions? Tell me in your reviews!

Today is a good day.


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